Yes, you can create the relationship you want!
Have you ever felt “stuck” in a relationship? Do you feel like you repeat negative patterns or find yourself constantly wondering why your partner doesn’t “get” you?
Are you ready to break those patterns and create a more healthy, honest and loving relationship with your partner?
The real magic to getting what you want from others is to fall in love with yourself first. In order to receive the love we want, we must first show ourselves the love that we deserve. Only then can we truly love and be loved by another.
You can completely transform your relationships by deciding to envision what you want and need. By voicing our values and expectations, we make a path forward for self-love and healing.
Your mind – your consciousness – is your greatest asset. Your relationships mirror something occurring within yourself and making a real change begins with looking in the mirror. By fully examining the parts of ourselves that need tending, we create the intention to heal and care for those parts more fully.
If you aren’t used to showing yourself some love, read on below for three steps to begin attracting what you are longing to receive.
STEP 1: FOCUS ON THE ESSENCE OF WHAT YOU WANT
If there is something you are not getting from another person, it is a mirror to show you something you are not giving yourself.
Begin by imagining how a successful relationship looks and feels. You have a part of you that looks over and observes your other parts – that is your Higher Self or Soul.
Close your eyes, breathe deeply and connect with your Higher Self.
Now begin to focus on the essence of what you want in a relationship, not the person or form. Ask yourself, “What is the essence – the feeling and qualities of love – that I want to experience in my relationship?”
Some examples of this might be a loving connection, attentive listening, giving and receiving affection and appreciation, having fun, intelligent conversation, adventurous experiences, laughing together and sharing a sense of humor.
Now ask your Higher Self, “How can I begin to give these qualities to myself? How can I begin to meet my own needs? How can I develop these aspects of personality?”
For example, if trust is a quality you value, consider how you might develop a trusting life. Do you honor your commitments? Are you honest to others about your feelings and emotions?
Write down the qualities you want and need in order to revisit them when you feel lost. These will be gentle reminders of the type of love to show yourself in difficult moments.
Envisioning the qualities you value in yourself will allow you to create the type of love you wish to receive and provide a roadmap to self-love. At the end of each day, reflect on the qualities you envisioned and describe how you practiced those qualities towards yourself. If you discover that you are struggling with one of your values, choose to focus on that part that needs more love and attention.Like building muscles, the mind and heart must practice in order to transform.Click To Tweet
STEP 2: OPEN YOUR HEART AND ALIGN WITH YOUR SOUL
You have a part of you that looks over and observes your other parts – that is your Higher Self or Soul.
Your other parts make up your personality or ego, which is never happy for too long. Personality or ego will always have places that do not feel completely loved, understood or appreciated.
Opening your heart is about self-love. Self-love is your commitment to your own inner peace and happiness. To do this, begin to identify and release the “blocks” or “untrue thoughts” that obscure this flow. This begins by becoming aware of and transmuting thoughts of victimization, blame or attack.
Close your eyes once again. Breathe deeply and relax into connection with your Higher Self.
Now, let go of the thought that you cannot have what you want in your relationship.
Realize that “younger” or more fearful parts of your personality – your ego or sub-personalities – are not confident they can have the relationship they want. Your ego will use judgment, projection, and manipulation to achieve its goals. But even if it gets what it wants, it will not be satisfied for long.
From your Higher Self or Soul, reassure your sub-personalities that you can create a healthy, strong connection with your partner using the power of love. From this high-vibratory state of love, set the intention to create what you want – healthy, honest love – by becoming that yourself.
As you move into this new state of being, check in regularly with your “blocks” or the negative thoughts that arise. Think of a loving response that can direct your thoughts towards self-love.
STEP 3: SOUL LINK WITH YOUR PARTNER AND RADIATE LOVE
You cannot change another. Pushing them to change only creates resistance.
Remember, people treat you the way you are treating yourself. Ask your Soul, “How is the way this person is treating me a mirror to how I am treating myself?” Resolve to shift this pattern.
For example, if your partner is not valuing you, how are you undervaluing yourself? Do you need to set boundaries, respect yourself more or celebrate your own accomplishments? As you begin to make this shift, you will no longer need this person to reflect this behavior to you.
Keep your eyes closed, breathe deeply and now connect with your partner’s Soul. Radiate your Soul’s love to your partner and trust that is being received.
Focus on what is working in the relationship and communicate soul-to-soul. Use your words to heal and empower the each other. Increase your capacity to love unconditionally by softening your heart and altering your perceptions of your partner.
Forgive your partner. Believe that he or she is showing you love in the best way they know how.
Thank your partner for loving you and slowly open your eyes. Trust they have heard you and now watch for improved communication between you.
Know that great relationships – at their core – are built through a series of small daily choices to be kind, to love, to laugh and to forgive. In order to create it, you only need to imagine it.
Are you ready to continue attracting the love you want and deserve? Contact me to learn more about how to transform your life to create the healthy and loving relationships you desire.The outer mirrors the inner – change it by changing yourself.Click To Tweet